This weekend has been an incredible journey. It started Friday night. Youth was actually awesome. Lol our silly little youth pastor tried to trick us. You see. Normally he will ask for prayer requests and then he will pray. But he seemed to be hiding something and I knew what it was. He was going to make us pray for our own requests. Now, I am a Christian and I do believe in prayer. But I always struggle to pray publicly because I'm afraid of being judged or screwing up or something. So I purposely didn't make a prayer request lol. There were three requests made and 8 youth. Like I suspected we were asked to pray. However ....one of the girls who asked for prayer specifically asked for me to pray for her. I hesistantly agreed. I'm now glad I did. Its good practice and I feel like I'm growing as a person and growing in my faith. Proof of that growth came on Sunday when I actually was brave enough at church to walk over and pray with someone.(patting myself on the back saying brave girl) Stop laughing at me lol.
I am developing more every day. A I have previously mentioned I am being mentored by a wonderful Godly woman. I was texting her Saturday night and I don't know why but her texts seemed a little off. Then I seen her Sunday morning at church and I could tell something up. I knew something was going on but I didn't know what it was or how I could help. So I did what I normally do. I quietly observed her throughout the next little while. That night I was texting her again and I just couldn't shake that feeling of I know I need to do something. I decided I would remind her of truth as best as I know how. Its strange for me because she is normally the one pouring truth into me. The roles just don't get reversed that often. So I did what she does. I spoke truth and live to her. Yet I still felt and emptiness that I knew I couldn't fill. So I decided to pray for her too. I think that kinda caught her off guard. She knows I don't like praying with others. But the more I do. ...the easier it gets. The more open I am...the more room God has to operate.
Last night this wonderful woman spontanioulsy decided that we were going out. So we did. We went to watch a movie. No family. No distractions. Just a quiet night for the two of us and God to just get away for a while. I loved it. We watched "the son of God". I just kept thinking to myself is this really what Jesus is like? Is this really he He loves? Does He really love me like that ? Its incredible because I know He really does love me like that. But it makes me wonder how I love Him back. I hear my mentor talk of how much she deeply loves God and I think to myself how wonderful it will be to have that close a relationship with Him. For now , I will continue to just move me step closer to Him at a time until the day I see Him face to face.
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